Indicators of an Unhealthy or Abusive Relationship
Healthy relationships are not perfect, but healthy relationships
- make both people feel respected, supported and safe
- problems can be safely addressed
- and conflict and disagreement can lead to productive change
Cultivating and maintaining healthy relationships involves intentional effort, self-reflection, and a commitment to personal growth.
| Healthy Relationship | Unhealthy Relationship |
| Respect | Disrespect |
| Trust | Jealousy |
| Honest Individuality Equality | Betrayal Control Manipulation |
| Encouragement | Belittling |
| Self-confidence | Intimidation |
| Non-Violent relationship | Physical violence |
Being in a healthy relationship means…
…loving, respecting, and taking care of yourself and your partner …respecting individuality …doing things with friends and family and having activities independent of each other …discussing things, allowing for differences of opinion, and compromising equally …trusting your partner …listening to each other without judgment …taking responsibility for your actions and feelings …respecting each other’s need and right for privacy …resolving conflicts in a peaceful and nonviolent way …sharing decisions about things affecting both partners …and learning more about each other. www.dvrc-or.org
BYSTANDERS INTERVENTION – What to do if you witness abuse?
As a friend, colleague or family member, you can make a big difference if you see or know about abuse or violence in a marriage. Only step in when it is safe to do so!
- ASK: “Are you okay?” “What do you need from me right now?”
- LISTEN: Empower them to make choices. Avoid telling them what to do. Praise them for coping in such a difficult situation.
- SAY: Keep calm. Keep it simple. ”I saw/heard/notice…and I’m feeling worried about you.”
- TELL: Get support from trusted professionals.
- STAND BESIDE: Sit next to them and ask “How can I help?” or “Would you like some help?”
- GET HELP: Have a support option ready, if they give you permission: 1-800-799 (SAFE) 7233. Secure an online chat: loveisrespect.org. TEXT “loveis” to 22522.
- DOCUMENT: Suggest they keep evidence such as photos, dated journal entries screenshots.
- CALL 911: If you think that you or someone else may be in danger
- DON’T GIVE UP on them as a friend, even if they choose to stay in the relationship.
- LOOK AFTER YOURSELF: Pay attention to how you are feeling. Set limits for what you can reasonably do to help.
https://sayitoutloud.org.au/friends-family-community
https://www.thehotline.org/resources/tips-for-intervening-if-you-witness-domestic-violence
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